I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
