I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
