We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize