So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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