i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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