When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
