I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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