some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
