I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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