He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
