you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
