and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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