you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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