I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
