No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
