I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
