Dual....:-)
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
