The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
