I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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