No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize