I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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