Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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