Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
