Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
