Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
