covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
