In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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