so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We have so much sex to catch up on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
