Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
