This girl is more easily done than said...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
