I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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