I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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