Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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