so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
