I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize