I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
