i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
