Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
