i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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