That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
