You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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