As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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