Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
