I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize