i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
