No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
