but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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