he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
