I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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