It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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