you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
