In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
