I got chris browned last night
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
