now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
