Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
