Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
