no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
