Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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