I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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