Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
