I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
