my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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