i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
