Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
