That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
