ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
