didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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