you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
